I actually ranted about this on twitter earlier; (which I regret because I promised myself that if a tweet was over 140 characters, it wasn’t worth tweeting) but I’ll happily elaborate for you good ole’ folks. Earlier, I decided that I would start censoring my feelings and emotions on my circumstances and keep them bottled up and only speak out when I had something to boast about. I mean, it seems that’s what everyone else is doing. The reason why I came to this conclusion? Well I’m glad you asked, my friend! In the midst of packing my stuff for the inevitable, the fact that I have to move just so happened to be the predominant thought on my mind (understandable right?) so therefore I tweeted about it and how it’s stressing me. I got a million ‘you complain to fucking much’, ‘stfu, kids are walking around naked in Haiti’…geezlueeze!
People were even lashing out and calling me depressed. Yes I have depressed moments, as we all do, but my constant state is far from depressed; I’m actually a pretty content person. I looooove life. When I’m out & about tweeting about how much fun I’m having, no one ever says ‘you having too much fun; stfu’ or ‘you needa stop talking about what a good time you’re having, someone else out there has it better.’ But God for-fucking-BID, I post when I feel down; “All you do is complain.” Duh, I’m complaining, I don’t know where I’m going. Geez. I’m human. I’m allowed to contradict myself. I’m allowed to be happy one day and sad the next. And it’s purely circumstance that lately, I happen to have more bad days than good. Give me a break, people !
I watch people on the internet sit there and post a bunch of fashion they can’t afford and probably don’t have the fortitude and determination to actually walk out their house wearing. Day in and day out girls post their sephora and nars collections. Everybody is so quick to say ‘gearing up for friday night’ or ‘shopping with the bestie’ or anything that implies that they’re having a good time and no one ever objects. Apparently, on the internet – everybody’s living a fantabulous life, having amazing sex & I’m the only one with problems. Let me go flaunt my supposed ‘engagement ring’, my macbook, and post about nails and shoes all day – that will make ya’ll happy. According to the internet, ya’ll all lead perfect lives, travel often, stay g’d up from the feet up. Nobody faces financial hardship, struggles w/ healthcare, never had an orgasm, or been in PAIN period. It’s amazing.
Perhaps it’s just not acceptable to post the bad. And if you do, you MUST be seeking sympathy. How come it’s so acceptable to say ‘on my flight to Italy, so excited’ & not ‘paying some bills, depressed’ if theyre both REAL? And don’t you dare admit to enduring domestic violence, incest, rape, or racism on the internet … all these little ugly things; we’re supposed to turn a blind eye to and pretend we’re not going through. Not just on the internet, in real life. Well I refuse, because to me, THAT is fake. I want to continue to stay real amidst a society that’s so materialistic. When you tell the truth, you get free. And you give onlookers the courage to get free too. I’m really living what I post, are you?
Feel free to discuss, please. I want other’s opinons.
February 6th, 2010 at 4:23 pm
There was once a time that I would ‘front’ for the internet. Simply because I felt no one was really interested in what my life was REALLY like – abandoned buildings, shelters, welfare, pregnancy, etc. etc. But as time progressed I realized that the people who were telling me to ‘STFU and stop being so emo’ were the ones faking for the internet too.
I don’t know why its so appealing for people to pretend that they’re lives are full of shopping sprees, parties and getting wasted, but that seems to be the way of the Net as of now.
One of the main reasons why I follow you on twitter and read your blogs is because 1 – I know you personally and 2 – out of all the BS that shows up on my timeline YOUR tweets have some type of reality and substance behind them that I can relate too. Its refreshing to know that I’m NOT the only one in the world with real life issues. There is someone else besides me that is going through similar hardships, and its comforting to know that even with the shit that going on in your life, you STILL find the time to have fun AND stay down to earth and grounded.
Alexis, fuck what everyone else says about complaining too much – yes others in the world have issues worse than yours – but YOUR twitter and YOUR blog isn’t about them – its about YOU.
February 6th, 2010 at 4:27 pm
This is like my favorite post you’ve ever done because I can relate to it so much. Sometimes people tell me to stop complaining but more often I’ve gotten the result of “Gosh you put so much of your personal life and problems on the internet” And I can agree, yes I do, but what’s your point? Maybe the internet IS my only outlet. And if it helps relieve some of the stress or negative emotions I’m feeling, I’m going to say it. So every time you say something “negative” just know I got your back like chiropractic Lex.
February 6th, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Not everyone is having problems financially, who cares if people are “shopping with their besties” or going out or having the times of their lives? We all have to pay bills, we all have problems but not everyone feels like going on the internet is the proper place to discuss their problems – some of us have real life friends we go to for things like that. Some of us want to be optimistic, We’re all dieing, some of us don’t want to spend whatever time we have complaining. If you feel like tweeting when you have a problem, by all means do it, but don’t expect people to care – I guarantee people don’t care when you’re having a good time either. If people are going through something, do they have to talk about it for it to be real? They’re fake if they don’t want to blog it/tweet it? Maybe its not anyones business, maybe some people are genuinely happy, maybe some people like to deal with private matters – privately. We don’t all want to tell the world when we have problems.
Its one thing to vent, its another to condescend to prove a point.
February 6th, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Samantha, you completely missed the point of this entry. Because I certainly do not object/care/patronize/lash out on anyone who says ’shopping with bestie’. In fact, sometimes, depending on what I’M doing (since that is what twitter is for), Ican be found saying something similar. When I see posts like that, I take it for what is, what they are currently doing or feeling at the moment; nothing more, nothing less. Just the same as if they said “Just got fired, FML” My point is – how come when EYE do the same thing, (post what I am doing or feeling), I catch flack just because it happens to not be appealing? I CLEARLY implied that I don’t care if someone posts ‘on my flight to Italy, so excited’ or not ‘paying some bills, depressed’ as long as their both REAL. No one is judging anyone who stays optimistic, doesn’t have problems or the desire to broadcast them, but when it’s the other way around… hmmm? Well… you catch my drift. Hopefully.
February 6th, 2010 at 4:52 pm
To clarify – I don’t believe that Alexis is ‘condescending to prove a point’. From what I got out of this post was that people jump all over her back when her tweets stray from ’safety’ – when she starts speaking about REAL issues (sorry if I don’t think shopping with the besties is a legitimate issue)
Not everyone who posts what they are going through wants a sympathy @reply or RT, sometimes when life is giving you a shitty ass hand to deal with – sometimes what you need is an outlet to vent. Sometimes the people in ‘REAL LIFE’ are oblivious to the reality around them, and then WHO YOU GONNA CALL?
And of course we all know that we’re *dieing* <> but isn’t everyone’s main complaint these days about how ‘fake’ everyone is – aren’t we all supposed to ‘keep it real’?
And then when you do – you get backlashed and told to stfu no one cares about your issues – there are starving kids in Haiti and Somalia. Well I’m saying WHO GIVES A FUCK? Its HER blog, HER twitter, and HER life. She has issues – she needs to vent – let her do it. No sympathy from others – FUCK IT. YOU don’t want to read it UNFOLLOW.
that is all =D
February 6th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
Exactly Siedha, I couldn’t have said it better.
And if this entry came across as condescending, that’s just me reciprocating the tone that I was given.
February 6th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
Ultimately it boils down to the idea that you are courageous enough to expose the secret parts of you that no one wants to talk about….
You have a level of depth which not a lot of people have Lex. It is what it is. I can’t really think of any great art that is derived from constant pleasure and happiness…. Who do we like and and feel and respect, Kanye or Souljah Boy? I think when you finally Really rid yourself of the superficial, your artistry will be able to flourish beyond its imagined potential
Love you.
)
February 6th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
So, so true. It’s one of the many reason I dont use Twitter. And even Facebook is becoming the same way. The internet is as close to Hollywood as many folk will get. The % of frauds to actual realistic individuals is disturbing. The trends all lead to this made up world of “trending topics, needless “followers” and an unhealthy need for attention. I guess that’s why I’ve preferred blogs for the past decade to avoid the automatic mass publicizing of my thoughts.
No matter what you do no one will hae an issue with it. I guess thats just how it is. I do find that at times silence is the best remedy. Turn my pc off and simply live life without telling anyone about it.
February 6th, 2010 at 5:24 pm
In my previous comment I meant “No matter what you do SOMEONE will have an issue with it.
February 6th, 2010 at 5:43 pm
Alexis knows I would never, in any way shape or form, attack her, especially not on her blog although it is really easy to read this and think that this is condescending.
People that say you complain too much are cunts anyway, this is your blog you can say whatever you want. People don’t have to read it if they don’t like it. Who cares if its “acceptable” for you to post feelings, negative or not? People are going to judge you either way but none of it REALLY matters and it shouldn’t have any effect on what you decide to post in the future. Censoring yourself? For what? Since when does doing “what everyone else is doing” an Alexis thing to do? Like you said, as long as its real, I personally don’t care but don’t make it seem like just because people post about being happy and their lives being great from their perspective that they’re “pretending” or being “fake” because they’re choosing not to talk about any issues of any importance to you.
February 6th, 2010 at 6:21 pm
—–I personally don’t care but don’t make it seem like just because people post about being happy and their lives being great from their perspective that they’re “pretending” or being “fake” because they’re choosing not to talk about any issues of any importance to you.——-
Thats all I was trying to get across during our nice little back and forth Alexis. I apologize for the misunderstanding and keep doing you.
Hopefully things get better in 2010, whether you acknowledge them or not, it’s up to you.
And yeah Canada is that good to live at.
-@mistermattnash
February 6th, 2010 at 6:27 pm
And as I said before; if this entry came across as condescending, that’s just me reciprocating the tone that I was given.
February 6th, 2010 at 8:28 pm
I always thought I was the only person that thought that. I definitely don’t live a fabulous life. I’m really not into fashion all that much. Of course I like to look at pretty things, but I would MUCH rather read pretty words. =)
February 7th, 2010 at 3:18 am
I laughed so hard reading this entry because it is so true. I struggle with this as my whole family likes to pretend shit is not happening and when I bring it up they say I am being negative…that I am the problem. They ignore drug abuse, child neglect, homeless family members, the nines! Those things don’t exist to some people. Even try to I stop myself from tweeting when I am having a hard time. Like a roommate argument or my account overdrafting. I often fail because you know, that’s what I’m doing right now.
February 8th, 2010 at 1:41 am
I’ll keep this short, sweet, and to the point. God bless you. will you marry me?
p.s. I love your blog. I visit it everyday. it’s so refreshing to come across a blog this honest and I relate and agree with everything you say. well done alex
February 8th, 2010 at 8:27 am
alexis you know that I love everything you write and all I have to say is that you are allowed to talk about your life and express yourself through whatever outlet you would like to. never let anyone try to say you’re complaining too much. like everyone has said, they are living some false life through the internet.they complain about you complaining because you are taking away from their “shine”. they want all of in the attention. just be yourself and that’s all that matters. I look up to you because I admire your courage to talk about your life. Let people say what they want, but just know that they’re actually doing it because they don’t reality to come down on them. they want to pus it into a corner and take pictures with their money and cars PRETENDING. they know they worked a solid 9-5, saved up their paychecks just to blow it like they have money knowing good and damn well they have to get up for work the next morning. they’re not supporting or caring about the rest of the world when they’re showing off so how dare they patronize you for talking about your life?!people are becoming gimmicks nowadays and i love you and your blog because it’s 110% real. that’s just me though. i don’t expect people to agree with me, but i’m just sayin…
February 8th, 2010 at 8:28 am
i meant to say they don’t want reality to come down them.
February 8th, 2010 at 1:24 pm
The word you need to use is “trivialize” when people bring up Hati or whatever current human horror story is going on to compare to your problems. If you are going to trivialize people’s problems everytime with Hati or Cancer patients, etc, then no one will ever be able to vent and this planet will become one huge Colombine(?) one day!!
I think people give you shit about your negative post or comments, in general because you always want to “criticize criticism of you”. If you want to put yourself on a public forum, be it blogs or your art or your tweets , then you need to accept that you will be judged and sometimes…..someone may know more than you. I like ya though…peace
February 9th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
There are a countless amount of those fashion blogs out there, where everyone is a thrift store shopping model. They are all exactly like one another. Your blog is different because discusses a certain kind of raw realism that most people don’t express in their blogs…and that’s what makes you interesting.
February 11th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Alexis, the reason people lash out when you tweet about bad situation you are working through or a bad day you are having is because you are mirroring back to them feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and/or uncertainty they are having in their own lives.
In the ’80’s it was all about dressing for success. The premise being that you are what you project. Now it’s all about making what you do have look better than it is. When someone tells you what they do these days one often has to decode it.
February 12th, 2010 at 2:09 am
Whaaaat, I’m commenting on here AGAIN? Crazy.
In all seriousness though, I feel you 100 friggin’ percent. I was waiting for an opening somewhere in your post where I could go, “this girl is trippin’,” but no, it was all pretty much right on.
In this day and age people who talk about their highs and lows are seen as emo. For instance, Kid Cudi. We all have these struggles, but not too many people are strong enough on the inside to actually openly talk about them. Nobodies life is perfect, yet we only want people to see the glass as brimming to the top.
The good thing though is that people who show you the good, bad & the ugly are real. They’re less likely to fabricate the good parts of life, because the it looks so nice next to the ugly.
February 12th, 2010 at 8:38 pm
I must have one of the most depressing blog online… I guess it’s because when I’m depress I prefer to write down my thoughts and actually post them, while when I’m not depress, I have no urge to write about how much fun I’m having or what I’m doing.
I read some blogs and I’m like damn her life seems so cool and fun! wow wow wow… But u have to really shake yourself and realise that things are not what it seems.
The fact is yes there are people dying and suffering…. but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have a bad day and write or tweet about it. Who actually give these people a right to judge and tell you what u can’t talk about. We are human and sometimes it’s good to bitch and moan.. yeah there are many people out there worst off, but you have all right to have a bad day and be truthful about it.
You’ll save a lot of money doing that than keeping it all in and then ending up crazy or needing a shrink.
February 14th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
This is one of my favourite post of the week.
(I’ve given it a mention on my blog)
February 16th, 2010 at 5:32 am
You never answer you formspring anymore
February 18th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
I’m glad that I haven’t really encountered people who are like that. Or maybe I’m just old now and all my friends are ‘post the good along with the bad’ types. Who knows?
I prefer to just see the real. Good, bad, boring, fun. Doesn’t matter to me. I try not to judge.
February 21st, 2010 at 8:13 pm
This post is reassurance of why I follow you on Twitter – you’re a real person with REAL issues. You can shed all your layers, become vulnerable and tell everyone what you’re feeling, which is more than likely how they feel but won’t articulate on it; for fear of not being socially accepted.
Keep doing what you do girl. Don’t censor yourself for their convenience. You have the right to Freedom of Speech && Expression. Just as they do.. what they choose to do with it is a-whole-nother story.