I can’t help but laugh when someone accuses me of tweeting for attention. Aren’t we all? Let’s face it, it’s narcissistic even having a twitter. Same goes for having a facebook and blog… and let’s not even touch on the fact that I’m blogging about twitter. Anyone who is so vain to believe that complete strangers would care to know their daily incessant thoughts and want constant updates about who they are, what they are, and where they are is seeking attention. And that’s anyone with a twitter. Which is pretty much everyone. It’s no secret that I’m a big fan of the little birdie… In fact, I met my boyfriend, who I currently live with because he recognized me on from the site when I was crossing the street one day. Though, I’m quite the shock jock (not just on social networking sites, but in general) and say things just to get a rise out of people or provoke thought, I haven’t gotten so caught up in it to the point that it effects my life or makes me behave in ways I wouldn’t otherwise… or have I?

Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “wait…am I really twitpic’ing a complete stranger just to make fun of something they’re wearing or doing for a few ‘lol’s from a bunch of folks I don’t even know? ” before I stop myself. Sometimes I’ll be smiling in someones face whilst typing how annoying they are on my handy dandy blackberry. Sometimes I’d rather @reply a friend than text or call them. Sometimes I’ll make bold generalizations just to piss people off, like ‘everyone in DC is ugly.’. Sometimes I’ll make people feel subordinate and inadequate by declaring things like, ‘if you listen to Waka, you know nothing about music’ or ‘Lmfao at any female who still wears babyphat’. And most of the people I’m following do the same things. Do you know how draining it is to spew such negative energy out all day long while constantly being fed the same amount of negativity? Subsconsciously, it has to take a toll on your everyday life because negativity begets negativity.

Worst of all, I’m too busy documenting my life to actually enjoy it. This habitual desire to share my thoughts with the world interupts every-fucking-thing. I’ll tune out the rest of a song because I’m trying to type a lyric from it that stood out to me. I’ll miss essential parts of movies because I was trying to quote something from it that I found funny or relatable. So busy trying to capture the sunset for a twitpic that I’ve lost the moment. It’s like the photographer who spends their entire time at any event taking pictures and they forget to have a good time. We’re so caught up observing the moment that we’re not actually in it.

Twitter in itself isn’t the problem, it’s just that anything to an extreme is unhealthy. Weed. Food. Even religion. So if you’ve been wondering why my tweets aren’t as rude (and yet hilarious) as they used to be, it’s because that’s bad juju… and I don’t need it in my life. If you’re wondering why I’m more vague about what I’m actually doing or what’s going on in my life, it’s because people assume they know everything about you from a rant on a public timeline. And if you’re wondering why I’m updating less frequently than I used to, well it’s because I don’t want to let life pass me by because I’m tweeting about it.

I actually ranted about this on twitter earlier; (which I regret because I promised myself that if a tweet was over 140 characters, it wasn’t worth tweeting) but I’ll happily elaborate for you good ole’ folks. Earlier, I decided that I would start censoring my feelings and emotions on my circumstances and keep them bottled up and only speak out when I had something to boast about. I mean, it seems that’s what everyone else  is doing.  The reason why I came to this conclusion? Well I’m glad you asked, my friend! In the midst of packing my stuff for the inevitable, the fact that I have to move just so happened to be the predominant thought on my mind (understandable right?) so therefore I tweeted about it and how it’s stressing me. I got a million ‘you complain to fucking much’, ‘stfu, kids are walking around naked in Haiti’…geezlueeze!

People were even lashing out and calling me depressed. Yes I have depressed moments, as we all do, but my constant state is far from depressed; I’m actually a pretty content person. I looooove life. When I’m out & about tweeting about how much fun I’m having, no one ever says ‘you having too much fun; stfu’ or ‘you needa stop talking about what a good time you’re having, someone else out there has it better.’ But God for-fucking-BID, I post when I feel down; “All you do is complain.” Duh, I’m complaining, I don’t know where I’m going. Geez. I’m human. I’m allowed to contradict myself. I’m allowed to be happy one day and sad the next.  And it’s purely circumstance that lately,  I happen to have more bad days than good. Give me a break, people !

I watch people on the internet sit there and post a bunch of fashion they can’t afford and probably don’t have the fortitude and determination to actually walk out their house wearing. Day in and day out girls post their sephora and nars collections. Everybody is so quick to say ‘gearing up for friday night’ or ‘shopping with the bestie’ or anything that implies that they’re having a good time and no one ever objects. Apparently, on the internet – everybody’s living a fantabulous life, having amazing sex & I’m the only one with problems. Let me go flaunt my supposed ‘engagement ring’, my macbook, and post about nails and shoes all day – that will make ya’ll happy. According to the internet, ya’ll all lead perfect lives, travel often, stay g’d up from the feet up. Nobody faces financial hardship, struggles w/ healthcare, never had an orgasm, or been in PAIN period. It’s amazing.

Perhaps it’s just not acceptable to post the bad. And if you do, you MUST be seeking sympathy. How come it’s so acceptable to say ‘on my flight to Italy, so excited’ & not ‘paying some bills, depressed’ if theyre both REAL?  And don’t you dare admit to enduring domestic violence, incest, rape, or racism on the internet … all these little ugly things; we’re supposed to turn a blind eye to and pretend we’re not going through. Not just on the internet, in real life. Well I refuse, because to me, THAT is fake. I want to continue to stay real amidst a society that’s so materialistic. When you tell the truth, you get free. And you give onlookers the courage to get free too. I’m really living what I post, are you?

Feel free to discuss, please. I want other’s opinons.

Note to self; texting and bathrooms don’t mix like 2 chicks and no dick…find yourself in serious shit. My blackberry fell in the toilet and even though I was BEYOND quick with my reaction, I wasn’t able to save it. This happened to be on the same exact morning that the charger to my janky ass laptop broke. And since I am without cable, I was ready to scratch my eyeballs out. I ended up getting a new blackberry, but my laptop is still useless so I’ll just be updating this blog via blackberry until further notice. And since typing on this thing blows; here’s a random update in list form.

According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their powers, Zeus split them into two parts; condemning them to spend the rest of their lives in search of their other halves. Deep shit, right?

Goodness gracious, the verses spewing from Lil Wayne lately have put him into my top 10 rappers out right now. This is amazing coming from someone who used to despise Weezy. The funny part about that is; most Weezy fans claim “I prefer his old shit”. Say whaaa?! He was wack back then! I feel completely the opposite. It took him a while to find his niche, but I love it.

Suddenly becoming a Drake fan, if that’s what you are, that’s okay! You don’t have to front like you been on him. Blasting ‘comeback season’ in your cars talking about you miss the ‘old Drake’. I see right through that bullshit so don’t pretend you were bumpin that when it first came out when in reality, you’re just catching up. Keep it real.

I appreciate honesty but there is a way to be honest without dismissing other peoples feelings and if you can’t tell the difference, then you m’dear need to re-evaluate your life. Because your self proclaimed honesty can only stem from self hatred and misery. Its not that we can’t handle the truth. You’re mean. Evil even. Point blank.

Maximillian & Clayton > everything. With brothers like the ones I’ve got; who needs niggas? They’re at the ages that losing their virginity is everything so they think they grown and getting slick with their toungues. I don’t really care though, I know how it feels to be young, dumb, and full of cum. I’m just gonna let the lil niggas bask in the glory of some pussy for the time being.

And lastly, I think there’s a chance that I kind-of sort-of, quite possibly, might be in love with you.