“The time has come,” the Walrus said “To talk of many things: Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax– Of cabbages–and kings.” … No seriously, the time has come for a New Year and growth. Not change; because change insinuates you can change back. You can never grow smaller though. And for the love of God, please feel free to save your trendy “you can make a resolution any day of the year” for the next blogger, Captain Obvious. I can’t hate on 2009 the way I was sticking my middle finger up at 2008 this time last year, because although my situation hasn’t gotten much better; this year has been full of self-discovery. I’ve learned so much about who I am, what I want and what’s important to me. I still have a long way to go, but I’ve come a long way too. I know what I like and dislike about myself and therefore, know what I’d like to work on. Most of my resolutions, I refuse to broadcast publicly, but here goes some of the basic ones…

Allow my creativity to flourish. As a kid, I had such a passion to explore and discover and create. I would have an idea or vision and act on it immediately. I was writing poetry, drawing, inventing and just sharpening my imagination daily. Then the internet and television took over my life and then I had more superficial shit to do on those rainy days, like spruce up my myspace or catch a Laguna Beach marathon than perfecting my artistry. Eventually that ingenuity and originality will fade completely so I have to catch it while I still have the chance.

Learn. I also used to be a complete bookworm. I was one of the few kids in the class thrilled to go to the library and devoured any literature I could get my hands on. I was like a sponge soaking up knowledge. But as you get older, that desire to see everything and know everything startes to vanish and before you know it, you’re so stuck in your beliefs that you’re unable to even consider others. And since being open-minded is my forte, I just can’t allow that to happen ;]

Be more sociable. So I stole this one? Sue me. Being such a fan of “social” media and NYnight life does not mean that I’m actually a sociable person. In fact, if the social setting is not a club or lounge in the city, you’ll probably find my face buried in my blackberry acting like a complete elitist because I’m a New Yorker…and soooooo above anything else :\ I don’t intentionally act this way, it just happens. I’d like to work on mastering the “art” of keeping in touch and keeping up on what’s going on with my friends and acquaintances.

Separate private life and public life. It never occurs to me that I’m being way too open on the internet until some stranger throws everything in my face like ‘omg that’s why you’re poor, your dopefiend parents don’t want you and you’re dying!’ I need to work on keeping the personal stuff personal and censoring myself. Not only am I giving people ammo for this ‘shit to use against Alexis’ file in their brains, they’re perception of me is always way off. Clearly, I’m not on twitter when I’m having a superb time saying how much fun I’m having because, uh…maybe I’m enjoying life or something crazy like that. I rans when I’ve just received bad news or I need to vent. I guess this makes it seem like all I do is complain. But in reality, I appreciate every stupid little moment of my life a lot more than the average person. I find beauty in every taste, smell, or experience I encounter. People have even gone as far as to call me suicidal. Me?! Yes ME! The same chick who is terrified of death. As if I could ever end my life! I’m far too curious to even consider it.

Oh & no soda, slim down, take more pictures and and less drugs. Bye.

After being linked to a website who’s main motive pretty much is find occult meanings and illuminati symbolism behind all the music, videos, and movies we all know and love today (those are a bunch of clickable links I want you to check out for all my slow people), and discussing it with a few friends, I decided to sort my thoughts out in a blog. Most of the articles just prove that people read way too much into things/symbols, especially if it benefits their argument and some of them *coughJay-Zcough* seem to just purposely throw shit in their videos, fashion and logos for the sake of attention and controversy. However, these four posts on Gaga (also clickable) managed to raise an eyebrow simply because in true Gaga fashion, the symbols are just blatantly obvious and being Stefani’s biggest fan EVER, I feel compelled to play captain save-a-ho and defend her.

First and foremost, the idea that these celebrities are pushing subliminal messages in our face is null and void because… well before you pointed it out, who’s going to connect being satanic with goats? I certainly wouldn’t have. A subliminal message is like.. if you keep seeing golden arches and you suddenly want McDonalds. Is ‘Bad Romance’ about obtaining fame by any means necessary? Duh captain obvious; that’s Lady Gaga’s entire image! And because of her “get famous or die trying” attitude and willingness to sacrifice whatever to get that glory, it doesn’t surprise me that Lady Gaga puts indirect representation of selling your soul to the devil in her videos. I mean, because… isn’t that what most people in the industry are doing? Majority of the most famous a. nd most successful people in the world sold themselves to get where they are. I can’t deny that she’s using satanic symbols in her art, but that’s because it’s ART and they’re just symbols. What’s a symbol to someone who doesn’t believe in it? Nothing. I don’t think Lady Gaga is a part of the illuminati or a freemason, I think she’s just promoting the idea of secret societies.

And what’s so bad about being a freemason anyway? I know some and they seem to be great men. Is it because they’ve maintained such a level of secrecy for so long that it’s easy to speculate and draw up your own c. onclusion? To call them devil worshippers is just ignorant. There’s no link between freemasons and the illuminati and I highly doubt the illuminati still exists. Nonetheless, after Lady Gaga’s amazing performance at the AMAs last night and her blatant usage of horns, claws, fire & emphasis of the spine, I just can’t wait to see how vigilant citizen breaks that one down because conspiracy theorists crack me up !

A woman with an ass and a strong mind
It’s been a long time
Sometimes you on your bullshit, sometimes I’m on mine
Will you have a hard time tryna stay commited?
or do you only want my voice moanin’ when you hit it?
Man…only God knows
You know deep in my heart, I don’t want you to be no star though
Cause groupies after every show
I’m scared you fuckin every hoe
And no need to lie and say you won’t cause’ shit, you never know!
But may the Lord give you strength
I love you more than anything
The future father of my kids; the love is real
And if we ever part; God forbid - I’ll love you still
So when you on the road, I won’t trip. You know I’m down for ya
I’ll keep it tight and won’t slip – I’ll hold it down for ya

I’ve dubbed J. Cole ‘s ‘The Warm Up’ The Best Mixtape of the Year
(yes, even better than Drizzys)
so do me a favor and peep it by downloading it here.