*thanks to Joyce for helping me come to this revelation & inspiring this post. ilu.
I never can admit that I’m wrong; ever. Mostly because I don’t believe that I’m ever wrong but on the off chance that I am, I’m incredibly manipulative enough to twist and turn the situation until you believe I’m right. I could convince you the sky was red if I wanted. I spent my entire teenage years playing the diplomatic girl who seemed to manage to stay friends with everyone amidst all the drama when in reality, I was the one starting it all. I’ve also always been exceptionally good at making people feel subordinate because I believe I’m so fucking above everyone else. The music I listen to is the best, the food I eat is the best, the clubs I go to are the best, the books I read are the best and anything contrary to this is by some means beneath me. I’m so beautiful, well-rounded, intelligent, passionate and everyone else needs to step their game up or “get on my level”. Ironically, I hate pretentious people.
I’ve been ‘the other woman’ before. I was just young, dumb and full of cum. It was a mistake, but not a drunken one night mistake, a long two year mistake that I’ll forever regret. I’m far too available to men. Particularly, emotionally unavailable men. I am, by no means, easy… but when I like someone, I give them my all. Possibly why no one wants me; nobody wants something they don’t have to earn. I don’t make friends easily, only because I find most people too be completely moronic but even when I do make some, I don’t keep them. I haven’t called my “best friend” in nearly a year. My biggest fear is that I won’t live up to my potential and yet I continue to let opportunities pass me by. I am so lazy and such a wasted talent. I’m very envious, not of what I can’t have, but mostly what I know I am capable of. These are my confessions. I’ve never seen them fully written, staring so contemptuously back at me. I’m validating them, making them real by writing them down and acknowledging that I need to change in order for myself to grow.
There’s this false sense of self-righteousness bloggers tend to feel because so many of our loyal readers jump to our defense and agree w/ everything we say. I’m not implying that our avid readers are “brainwashed” but since they’re drawn to our small space on the web, they probably share many common interests with us and therefore a lot of the same opinions. That’s the flaw in this particular form of self-expression. Bias. It’s nearly impossible to have a progressive debate on any site when the general consensus of whatever the topic is will always lean towards the bloggers argument. It prevents us from taking constructive criticism and growing from it and we lack the ability to consider another point of view which I think is a flaw. So we walk around with our nose in the air because everytime someone dared to disagree with us, we had a bunch of cheerleaders backing us up and therefore we must be right, we must be perfect… Well I’m not perfect and I’d rather not continue on without recognizing there’s things that I need to change to be a better person…
So what are your flaws? What are some things you’d like to change about yourself? What’s some things you think I need to change about myself? And remember, there’s a difference between constructive criticism and being a douchebag.
Recent Comments