Last night I ran into a friend who happened to be with a girl who was was not the long time girlfiend I know him to have. They flirted and eventually left together. I hit Ashley up this morning to give her the lastest gossip and we got to talkin about how we were both so certain he was in love with his girlfriend and maybe, just maybe, men really can’t control theirselves. Do men, even when they’re head over heels in love, always eventually desire ‘new pussy’? Not neccessarily BETTER pussy…just somethin’ new? In the same manner that no matter how much you may love it, you’d get tired of eating chicken every night for the rest of your life so you crave beef every now and again. And is the acceptance of such behavior, stupid or smart?
Ashley went on to tell me that there’s a rumor floating around that Will & Jada sleep with other people but ask eachother first and refuse to pretend that it’s not natural to want other people. They won’t forsake all others, but the other would always know first. I used to think girls who stayed with their cheating boyfriends were retarded but perhaps they’ve got it all figured out. It’s no secret that it’s in a man’s nature to spread his seed but should we accept it just because it’s their basic instinct? And as a woman, I know first hand that the initial pain we feel when we’re cheated on isn’t because he merely had sex with someone else, it’s the being left in the dark and feeling betrayed part that hurts the worst. We fear that along with sex, he was also giving himself to someone emotionally. In fact, I’m not sure that the ‘sex’ aspect of cheating hurts us at all. So wouldn’t having an open relationship be the easy solution to all of this? Maybe, by being honest and open about things like that, relationships can survive.
But after a few hours of arguing with myself about the subject I’ve decided; fuck that! I’ve never seen my father, uncles, brothers or any other man be faithful and I could easily learn from experience and say that expecting any man to be true is unrealistic. But why?! Because it’s in their nature? If we all did what was natural to us, we’d be off in caves somewhere mumbling to eachother. We learn to control most of our basic instincts at a very young age once we realize there are consequences and infidelity shouldn’t be any different. People aren’t going around killing every mickey fickey that pisses us off like we used to because somewhere down the line, we learned we’d get in trouble. It utterly and completely disgusts me that I was ever grateful that a man was ‘atleast honest with me’ about being with other woman. Let’s face it, his honesty stems from a lack of giving a remote fuck. Why not just tell the truth when you know the girl aint going anywhere regardless? We as women need to collectively snap out of this bullshit and stop tolerating less than what we deserve, lowering our standards with every wrong thing he does.
Men are treating us this way because women allow it. Yeah I said it.
July 15th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
EVERY THING YOU SAID WAS TRUE! I TOTALLY AGREE ON EVERY ASPECT! it is because we let them get away with it cause ive been there before but no more, you cheat, im gone! i deserve the world & ill get it
love you alexis!
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July 15th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Yea women allow it but women do it too, I just think guys do it more so its stereo typed. people are faithful if they want to be I dont think its uncontrollable. oh that Will and jada shit is true ask Jade lol she put me up on game
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July 15th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
I personally believe that we can love more than one person. Him cheating could be that he likes the sex AND the friendship. I just want a chance to openly have two men instead of sneaking around or being called a hoe.
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Nat Reply:
July 7th, 2010 at 2:18 pm
I agree…. there is a vast majority that wants to live in darkness. I rather know what is going on with my partner and him know what is going on with me…. its only natural just because you have decided to be with someone doesn’t mean you won’t meet other people that you will be interested in and why should you let go of this really good thing you already have. I am in an open relationship right now… my livinng partner an my “boyfriend (hate that word cause I feel boxed into a whole lot of rules and regulations… but it will have to do for now) get along great… its not all about the sex… its about companionship…. its about one person being compatible with more than one other person and how often do we find some one who is truly compatible with us…. and if we find two then the more power to us….. Its a matter of selfishness…. My living partner loves who I am and wants to share that with someone else if so I choose…. same goes for me… he is the sweetest man alive treats me like a princess and I would love for someone else to experience that. As women sometimes we take less than we deserve. It pains me when I see a girl drool over a guy that is not into her…. if I could give that person the chance to experience what I have she will raise her standards and wether she stays with my partner or not I am sure the next time around she won’t settle for less. We are selfish and we find a good thing and immediately want to lock it up under key and keep it to ourselves. You can definately love two people… we do it with parents… siblings… uncles aunts…. why wouldn’t it work with lovers? There is a tricky aspect… revealing it to your families…. I for one don’t care I am a grownup and take care of myself so I am open about my open relationship….. however I did find out today that when it comes to my co-workers I don’t want to explain anything . . . but some part of me is stuck in between not having to explain and feeling questioned….. I will figure it out as we go…. all I know is I am so happy and I am making two people very happy…. now what is wrong with that?
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July 16th, 2009 at 1:07 am
if perception is reality, then maybe you females shouldn’t believe it’s “no secret that it’s in a man’s nature to spread his seed” theory because it, your theory which came from an educated guess is now scientific law in your mind, body, soul and eyes. Thus the “man” you are with sees it in your eyes, starts a relationship with you and then cheats. Talk with your eyes, look with your mouth.
I get on the F train to work and I see it in the eyes of the single mother, tired and haggard at 21, holding her youngin alone after a day of work….her eyes tell me she believes “this is life”. So for her it is….what is life for you?
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July 16th, 2009 at 1:42 am
hey girl! thanks for dropping by…and i totally agree with you on that.. girls ALLOW it then complain about it. hmmm…..
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July 16th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
first off not all men cheat…. second, yes the bst puss is new puss but new puss doesn’t necessarily have to be away from the house a spicy life keeps it new… In my opinion an open relationship is ridiculous… but im like a protective dog so to speak i piss on the tree and what’s mine is mine stay away from my bone and if you get close ima snap you in half… So for me being faithful is the only way to go… now dating around is the best solution if your not trying to be faithful in a relationship because not having a committed relationship it seems to me so much easier to just roam like a stray and sex what you want. no strings no secrets no hurt feelings
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July 16th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
U hit the nail on the head. It is up to women to change this ridiculous behavior that allows men to act off their most basic instincts. I love the murder example. I tell people all the time they lucky we aren’t in the Old West. If we were I would have popped a lot of people and sat down and finished my beer. However society has deemed this behavior far and beyond acceptable so I don’t do that today. I’ve NEVER cheated. To me it’s lame. I’ve erased all the hoes out of my phone and only want a girl that holds me to high standards of behavior. That is a real woman.
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July 16th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
i agree with jag & larion’s comment. to each their own of whatever they’ll allow but women cheat & do their dirty too. everyone’s different.
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July 19th, 2009 at 12:22 am
im young and all tht . but it seems to me everyone is talking about things such as this . i really dnt knw wht to believe bt i often hear my aunt say tht like there’s not a man out there tht wont cheat at least once . i believe tht most men cheat , sme not intentionally bt shxt happens . but i do think your right , men do do this to women because we or they allow it .
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July 20th, 2009 at 12:24 am
For the sole purpose of having a space to vent, I created a 2nd twitter and mentally made not to work on maintaining my blog. I followed & unfollowed because the expectation of a writers’ lifestyle didn’t seem/appear to be what I wanted to read on my twitter timeline. In an effort to be open and allow myself to feel I added you to the 10 that I plan to follow. I go through your updates and read this here piece. Can I tell you, you spoke to my inner core!?
Time and time again I have cared, been hurt and even accepted the truth. According to me it hurts more to be in the dark, however as I examine where I am vs where I want to be, the elimination of the idea of anything OPEN has emerged. If I am not worth your commitment and sincerity then WE shall not be. I thank you for writing this and highlighting the fact that we as woman shouldn’t settle.
Time and time again with one I have, but I am more than ready now this weekend, to be free. I can care and love from afar. Why is it that we as woman sacrifice and go through all things emotional for the sake of love. Should it hurt? Should it be dishonest, we genuinely deserve better and you have done a fine job of detailing a situation that all to common and all to accepted.
I will continue to follow, as your way with words, inspires.
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July 20th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
test two.
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July 20th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
I’m a man in love with a woman right now. My girl went out of town recently and while she was out of town I had lunch with a friend I’ve had for quite awhile. This is a truly platonic friend. We had a good time at lunch, laughing and joking. As friends do we touched each other frequently in a playful, but never sexual, manner.
Now if some busybody was looking at our interaction and only knew about me and my girl and not this other person it could be misconstrued as me flirting with this woman. It’s easy to draw such conclusions from the outside looking in. Furthermore, this busybody might also be the gossipping type who makes it their business to go and tell everyone without regard to the consequences, despite not even knowing a quarter of the story.
Luckily for me, my girl is also a grown ass woman and knows to come to me. In addition we have TRUST. I trust her and she trusts me. I have no desire whatsoever for anyone else out there. When I’m in a relationship I only have eyes (not to mention energy) for one. Not all men have a desire to cheat.
I say all of that to say, unless you talked to the guy (and it doesn’t appear you did), you don’t know WHAT the situation was. He may have been cheating, but he may not have. And either way it’s not your place to offer conjecture and potentially cause strive in a relationship you aren’t a party to.
Just my two cents. I already kind of know how it’s going to go over, but sometimes the other side needs to be heard.
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July 20th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
To A Grown Man :
Did you even read the entry because that entire essay you just typed up had absolutely nothing to do with it. I think you read the first 2 lines and decided to comment.
Firstly, I know for a fact the dude was cheating on his girl but I choose not to elaborate on what I saw because it isn’t any of my business. I didn’t tell his girl because again, it’s not my business. I didn’t give names because again, it’s not my business. I didn’t go about telling his business without any regard for the consequences, I simply told a trusted friend and it sparked up another conversation.
Which is what this entry is actually about. But clearly, you didn’t get that far…
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July 20th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
And for the record – this entry isn’t about anyone BUT me. It’s something I saw which sparked up a conversation with my best friend, which got me to thinking about my own personal philosophies on the subject, in which I put on my blog.
I hate when people try to make my entries about them.
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July 20th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
never have I felt so compelled to respond to a blog..I guess that’s why this is the 1st and probably last time that I ever will..
I think that your observation of the sexual behavior of males is spot on. I believe every male, no matter how committed, at the very least fantasizes about new Vagina. Most people, women not excluded, are only as faithful as their options. I say this as a person who has never been in a relationship, but as a person who HAS watched countless relationships get caught in the crosshairs of the assasin known as infidelity. For the most part I agree with Miss Alexis people (not only women) get cheated on because they not only allow it, in some cases they indirectly encourage it. Contrary to popular belief most people don’t cheat because they’re heartless, they cheat because their significant other isn’t completely satisfying all of their needs. Whether those needs be emotional spiritual, intellectual, physical or otherwise, they are needs that are being unattended nonetheless. Unfortunately a lot of people opt to cheat instead of communicating their dissatisfaction and thus begins the downward spiral of the relationship. Once someone in a committed relationship strays to try and find someone who CAN fill their emotional, sexual, intellectual or spiritual void (take your pick) and they convince themselves that they HAVE found THAT PERSON, then sex is just the inevitable End game. The main thing I have learned during my my observation of the male/female dichotomy is that Miscommunication is kryptonite to a relationship.
I do however have another though/query….I continually hear ladies saying I deserve the world and, Im a queen who deserves someone who can give me the moon and countless other sayings that lead me to believe that the majority of women want a Walt Disney type of happily ever after, which is a completely understandable and acceptable goal to have…shoot for the stars I always say. With that being said I encourage women and men who think that highly of themselves to have an inner monologue and ask yourself, are you REALLY worth all of that?!? Women, what else are u bringing to the table other than some mediocre pussy and lingerie that would make a man want to give you the world and be faithful?!? Men what are you bringing to the table other than a pre-ejaculatory penis and a Yukon sittin’ on 26′s that would make your girl want to do all of those nasty things you like and stay committed to ONLY you?!? Once men and women alike take a break from drinking their own kool-aid and realize that the needs of others out wiegh the desires of self then the percentage of successful relationships will definitely increase…but hey, that’s just my misspelled gramatically errored opion ?
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July 22nd, 2009 at 7:22 am
this is really good subject but like one of the commenter said females do it also, Everyone is not always going be completely faithful i guess it is sad tho but it someone what tru with the new pussy i guess because some dudes r in love but stil like to know there something else out there i guess and yea bout that will n jada lol no one ever believed me when i said it I will show them this post next time
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July 23rd, 2009 at 10:28 am
Honestly its all about availability if we see the opportunity to take something new down we’re gonna do it. Don’t you see half the time when guys get caught its always w/ a girl that’s a lower grade than the girlfriend. Why do we think like that I can’t even tell you I guess its a ego thing like yeah I have a gf but I could still get girls on the side and get away w/ it b/c @ the end of the day its sex. Men could have sex and not have an emotional attachment to the girl as opposed women. Women aren’t jus gonna go around having sex w/ dudes w/o having sometype of emotional attraction them as for us we jus see it as sex.
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July 25th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
The more I read the responses from these so called “men”, the more I understand why women hate “men” and also feel sad for women because these are the “men” you all decide to have a relationship/home/kid with. Thus, you are all guilty. Me, I’m just content with the only person I trust and love…….me.
Thanks to these replies, today I TRULY feel like a man as opposed to all the childish “new pussy” theories, I have been reading. If a woman, whether it’s your gf or side chick, is viewed by you as “pussy” , there is no hope, whatsoever.
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May 10th, 2010 at 4:12 am
Wow….ive never seen it broken down so well…..damn your blogs are hypnotizing…maybe cuz im a aspiring one myself….neways i agree….men do what they do because most women allow it……but still….i wonder what it is in females that makes them happy with just 1 dick for the rest of their lifes but men still want more….but as far as myself….i could be happy with one….i mean for one this whole fuck every girl society isnt some shit im down with….cuz the d(ick) should be an exclusive experience….so every bitch couldnt have had it…wont work for me…maybe thats why guys cheat…because we feel like missed pussy is missed oppoourtunity…whatever the case…i think the cheating would all end if we….if only moments before asked ourselves this one question *totally jacking why did i get married*….is the 80 worth the twenty? Is easy pussy or pussy thats ok with being side pussy(which isnt the best kind) worth the pussy we have at home that loves our strengths AND faults? Id say it like this…..if she aint gonna wash your shit stained drawers….then the shit aint worth it…
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