I wasn’t looking for him, I just sorta, stumbled upon him. It was just an infatuation at first. – I used to confuse love and infatuation. I thought being in love with someone meant you felt that initial passion you felt when y’all first met. Now I realize infatuation is just that. True love, soul mate love is not a fiery feeling. It’s like a warm blanket. It’s soothing, not stimulating, although you’ll often feel quite stimulated with that person. It comforts you regardless of what’s going on in your life. – But even with all that compatibility in the air, I was already too comfortable just being all alone so I brushed him off more than once. Then he came a long and made me believe in myself again. And I don’t mean that in the ‘tryna change me’ type of way, he just makes me better. Not intentionally. He probably doesn’t even recognize the change in me since his presence in my life. But there is a major one. He makes me want to be more like me and brings out the best in my artistry. And I have never been so comfortable being just that.
It’s different this time around. I don’t feel that overwhelming yet superficial desire to broadcast this everywhere with ‘i love ____’ t-shirts and albums on myspace titled ‘030109′ because I know our connection is real and there’s no need to prove it to the world. See, because this time, it’s not a feeling of ‘omg I’ll just DIE if I lose him’…I won’t…but it’s more of a feeling of completion. I’m content. I’m not paranoid about ‘us’ failing, because if and when we do, no matter how it ends, it’s okay, I can never regret it. Because he saw a light in me that I couldn’t even see, and he pushed it to shine brighter than I ever could’ve.
…There’s another kind of love. One that gives you the courage to be better than you are, not less than you are. One that makes you feel that anything is possible. I want you to know that you could have that. I want you to hold out for it….
March 30th, 2009 at 5:46 am
is this a metaphor/song or an actual person?
March 30th, 2009 at 6:07 am
I’m assuming you’re referring to the title. The title is the name of the movie in which I quoted at the end. The rest is just a blog.No metaphor or song. LOL
March 30th, 2009 at 6:23 am
I meant the person you were talking about lol
March 30th, 2009 at 6:24 am
Yes! I love it! This blog made my day, really.
March 30th, 2009 at 6:35 am
that shit so true
March 30th, 2009 at 6:39 am
Well in that case; its an actual person lol.
March 30th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
I especially love the part about not being regretful even if the relationship ends later, but instead being thankful of the things he brought out of you.
March 30th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
I’m glad you’ve found someone who just fits. Great feeling. So I guess now you can take “emotionally unavailable men” down from your weaknesses? lol
March 30th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
lexis this is deep especially after following you for so long i think this is amazing!!! Love sometimes makes you lose ur edge keep shinning tho!!! keep it up…JaG
March 30th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
i keep waiting for more specifics on lj…. i miss reading about what’s going on in your life, the crazy stories & shit. wish you’d write more cause it’s like free therapy for me (how selfish right? lol <3).
March 30th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
This is good, I like when people touch on the line between love and infatuation it is oh so thin. Good to see your blog is back up, am I late?
March 31st, 2009 at 12:16 am
IDK this love thing is so diff for me, I am in love ans [03.29.09] made it a yr. But my issue is that I want that love that i flaunt and im there but he not, but he loves me like crazy. Every time I leave he always ask me back. IDK Maybe I need to get my priorities straight.
March 31st, 2009 at 2:24 am
Yes Taylor; you’re late. Lol.
Monique; I’m not quite sure what you mean by not wanting the love that you flaunt. Do you mean the love that you flaunt isn’t the love you actually have? If you can elaborate on your situation a bit better…I’d be more than happy to give you my most sincere advice.
March 31st, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Oh I mean like being that I love him so much I wanna put it out there, but he says that he dont think showing the love is important because he loves me and dont have to prove it, but im the type to just like showing it and hes not.
April 1st, 2009 at 5:28 am
you look like julia stiles…ish…
April 20th, 2009 at 2:08 am
You hit the nail on the head with the “warm blanket” comparison. So…so true…that’s what it’s about!
This actually makes me want to re-evaluate my current situation.
April 29th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Amazing as usual. Shit. Im holding out. I wish I could have something like that. I know who I want but I also know our timing is off & he’s not ready to love me like I need to be loved.
June 6th, 2009 at 12:38 am
You truly are an artist. I’ve been reading your blog for a little while and I have came to the conclusion that your writing is amazing! Anyways, this Love post really hit the soul. It makes me feel better about my relationship..thanks alexis.
December 27th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
“It’s different this time around. I don’t feel that overwhelming yet superficial desire to broadcast this everywhere with ‘i love ____’ t-shirts and albums on myspace titled ‘030109? because I know our connection is real and there’s no need to prove it to the world.”
)
Someone Fianlly understand, when i say, “Mutual love does’nt need a title.” in other words, a dateof when yall began, or the title of a “Boyfriend”.,as in 71108. ( dont ask about the date