I wasn’t looking for him, I just sorta, stumbled upon him. It was just an infatuation at first. – I used to confuse love and infatuation. I thought being in love with someone meant you felt that initial passion you felt when y’all first met. Now I realize infatuation is just that. True love, soul mate love is not a fiery feeling. It’s like a warm blanket. It’s soothing, not stimulating, although you’ll often feel quite stimulated with that person. It comforts you regardless of what’s going on in your life. – But even with all that compatibility in the air, I was already too comfortable just being all alone so I brushed him off more than once. Then he came a long and made me believe in myself again. And I don’t mean that in the ‘tryna change me’ type of way, he just makes me better. Not intentionally. He probably doesn’t even recognize the change in me since his presence in my life. But there is a major one. He makes me want to be more like me and brings out the best in my artistry. And I have never been so comfortable being just that.

It’s different this time around. I don’t feel that overwhelming yet superficial desire to broadcast this everywhere with ‘i love ____’ t-shirts and albums on myspace titled ’030109′ because I know our connection is real and there’s no need to prove it to the world. See, because this time, it’s not a feeling of ‘omg I’ll just DIE if I lose him’…I won’t…but it’s more of a feeling of completion. I’m content. I’m not paranoid about ‘us’ failing, because if and when we do, no matter how it ends, it’s okay, I can never regret it. Because he saw a light in me that I couldn’t even see, and he pushed it to shine brighter than I ever could’ve.

…There’s another kind of love. One that gives you the courage to be better than you are, not less than you are. One that makes you feel that anything is possible. I want you to know that you could have that. I want you to hold out for it….

Note to self; texting and bathrooms don’t mix like 2 chicks and no dick…find yourself in serious shit. My blackberry fell in the toilet and even though I was BEYOND quick with my reaction, I wasn’t able to save it. This happened to be on the same exact morning that the charger to my janky ass laptop broke. And since I am without cable, I was ready to scratch my eyeballs out. I ended up getting a new blackberry, but my laptop is still useless so I’ll just be updating this blog via blackberry until further notice. And since typing on this thing blows; here’s a random update in list form.

According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their powers, Zeus split them into two parts; condemning them to spend the rest of their lives in search of their other halves. Deep shit, right?

Goodness gracious, the verses spewing from Lil Wayne lately have put him into my top 10 rappers out right now. This is amazing coming from someone who used to despise Weezy. The funny part about that is; most Weezy fans claim “I prefer his old shit”. Say whaaa?! He was wack back then! I feel completely the opposite. It took him a while to find his niche, but I love it.

Suddenly becoming a Drake fan, if that’s what you are, that’s okay! You don’t have to front like you been on him. Blasting ‘comeback season’ in your cars talking about you miss the ‘old Drake’. I see right through that bullshit so don’t pretend you were bumpin that when it first came out when in reality, you’re just catching up. Keep it real.

I appreciate honesty but there is a way to be honest without dismissing other peoples feelings and if you can’t tell the difference, then you m’dear need to re-evaluate your life. Because your self proclaimed honesty can only stem from self hatred and misery. Its not that we can’t handle the truth. You’re mean. Evil even. Point blank.

Maximillian & Clayton > everything. With brothers like the ones I’ve got; who needs niggas? They’re at the ages that losing their virginity is everything so they think they grown and getting slick with their toungues. I don’t really care though, I know how it feels to be young, dumb, and full of cum. I’m just gonna let the lil niggas bask in the glory of some pussy for the time being.

And lastly, I think there’s a chance that I kind-of sort-of, quite possibly, might be in love with you.