I usually don’t upload rough mixes but I’m going to break my rule and do so tonight because once again, I’m giving you all the opportunity to witness the making of something big with me…oorrr you can all hop on the bandwagon later when everyone else does and I’m saying ‘I told you so.’…again. (IE Budden, Drake, Cole.)

Ever since I called out Maryland a couple years ago on youtube for their atrocious taste in hip hop, one of the most popular questions I’m constantly being asked is “Who is the best artist in the DMV?” and my answer is consistantly erratic and indecisive. I’ve always aimlessly threw out names like Kendall Elijah, Los, Extra, Lyriciss, etc just to avoid saying the obvious, Wale. (Whom as you all know, I’m not particularly fond of.) All of them are niice, but I’ve been lying to ya’ll, the BEST rappers artists in the DMV are…..drumroll please…SUPA and Omega. There, I said it. Bold statement, eh? Well I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t make such gallant declarations. Don’t get mad, just prove me wrong.

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I can’t sit here and mistake his infatuation with me for genuine interest.

Sure, he wants to fight every dude that even glances in my direction so much that I avoid being around him in public; but that’s not out of concern, he’s just possessive. And that’s all I am to him – a posession, a prize, a trophy. Something to show off to all his friends and give them that ‘look what I bagged’ look. He’s comparing me to his exes and to him having me is one helluva upgrade. He can’t keep his hands off me but that’s not interest, it’s lust. I can tell you his life story and I know things about him one shouldn’t even know this soon. You know why? Because I am sincerely trying to get to know him… so I ask.

Now go ahead and ask him anything about my parents, my siblings, my hobbies, my interests, my living situation and how I ended up in it. Betcha he’d be stumped. He doesn’t inquire to know anything about me because he just doesn’t give a fuck. Now ask him if he wants me to be his girl. The answer will inevitably be yes. He says “I want you to myself” as if that should bring me comfort. It doesn’t; you just want to own me. But my question is – since when does being conventionally pretty mean I have nothing more to offer than being the eye candy for you arm? I’m more than just a thing to look at, ya’know.

I understand that most people considered beautiful by society’s standards are typically self-absorbed assholes who aren’t working on their character. But some of us are! I am a person, with morals, ideas, opinions, and philosophies that are always changing and you should want to experience this growth with me. If you’re not intrigued by the person I was, the person I am, and the person I’m becoming – then you’re simply not interested in me. Don’t waste my time.

oh! I decided to get back into photography. it’s only a hobby that I do w/a simple point & shoot camera but who knows? it could grow into somethin’ bigger. afterall, i’m a lot better than these fools w/ slrs that their parents bought who take pics of nothing but themselves and food
peep my photography flickr here.

Tribute Video for my biggest inspiration, an Icon; The King of Pop – Michael Jackson.

It’s official – my childhood is over. And it took the death of an icon for me to realize this. The man who was embedded in so many of my childhood memories passed away this Thursday and took a piece of my soul with him. My memories span from Pop (RIP) giving me and my brother, Mario a good spanking at 3 years old when we tried to emulate the dance from ‘The way you make me feel’ and he thought we were “being fresh” humping the floor all the way to practicing the dance to ‘Rock My World’ at 15 years old with my best friend NahTesha at the peak of our friendship. His death hit closer to home than I ever imagined a celebrity death could.

I know it might seem like I’m exaggerating but I know what it’s like to have people all over the world relate to you and see greatness in you and still not have a soul on earth to turn to. I too, deal with issues of self-worth and I know first hand what it means to be consumed with loneliness. I experience what it’s like to suffer from Peter Pan syndrome because you grew up too fast and to find refuge in the innocence of kids because the law of love could be best understood and learned through little children. I too believe that love can heal the world. And of course, I’m misunderstood and I truly believe I can relate to Michael in a way a lot of people can’t. It breaks my heart knowing I’ll never have the opportunity to meet him to let him know what an impact he’s had on my life like I’ve always planned to.

The mainstream media makes me want to vomit focusing on the not-so-great aspects of his life instead of acknowledging and praising all the contributions he made to the entire world. This man single-handedly bridged race, genre and age gaps while also redefining the art of entertainment. He was bringing black and white together before both Barack Obama and Oprah and it’s my belief that neither of them would be where they are if he hadn’t already changed the worlds perception of black people by acting so royally and genuine. Do ya’ll understand dance, music, performances and music videos would not be where it’s at now if it weren’t for him being the innovator? He upped the ante and created the style of dance that can be found in all your favorite artist performances today. He’s the one celebrity in the world that my grandmother, my father and myself will mourn together. And lastly but not least, not only did he use his music as a tool to raise awareness about all the world issues that concerned him – he really put his money where his mouth was and donated millions.

How heart wrenching is it that someone with such great intentions who lead a completely selfless life, giving up all the things we take for granted just to entertain us ended so tragically? A deprived childhood, a society that bullied him, allegations that ruined his reputation, and a level of fame that suffocates you because coping with worldwide fame makes you become reclusive, lonely, cautious and pressured. Then death at a fairly young age? Damn, I just can’t accept that I’m never going to be able to see him live in concert. It was one of those things I just knew I’d do before I died and it breaks my heart that my dreams are shattered. And quite frankly, I’m sad that my children will grow up in a post-michael era and he’ll just be a legend to them… so unborn children – I want you to know – for the first 22 years of my life, I witnessed GREATNESS in it’s purest form. I love you Michael.

A woman with an ass and a strong mind
It’s been a long time
Sometimes you on your bullshit, sometimes I’m on mine
Will you have a hard time tryna stay commited?
or do you only want my voice moanin’ when you hit it?
Man…only God knows
You know deep in my heart, I don’t want you to be no star though
Cause groupies after every show
I’m scared you fuckin every hoe
And no need to lie and say you won’t cause’ shit, you never know!
But may the Lord give you strength
I love you more than anything
The future father of my kids; the love is real
And if we ever part; God forbid - I’ll love you still
So when you on the road, I won’t trip. You know I’m down for ya
I’ll keep it tight and won’t slip – I’ll hold it down for ya

I’ve dubbed J. Cole ’s ‘The Warm Up’ The Best Mixtape of the Year
(yes, even better than Drizzys)
so do me a favor and peep it by downloading it here.

Since I steal internet from my neighbors, I unfortunately don’t have a strong enough connection to catch Joe Budden’s live stream so you can imagine my surprise when a friend emailed me this video of him on blogtv mentioning me. Awww ;] I don’t appreciate him referring to me as a bitch but I’m his “favorite fuckin’ person in the world to follow” on twitter – which is why all of you should too ! – http://twitter.com/alexisbelon – Having my favorite rapper in the world be familiar with who I am is truly dope and what’s even better, I credit all my internet fame to him. Because half of you wouldn’t know who I am if I hadn’t made a video about his ass. ILU mouse <3

‘Little Bit’ by Drake & Lykke Li happens to be one of my favorite songs of all time – it just has that way of hitting the soul and the lyrics are just too…just too relatable. So to come across this seriously made my day. Their cover is amazziiinngg. And who cares that they re-did a remix?! It really makes me happy to see people still out there doing it solely for the love of music. And on a flippin’ ukulele? Are you kidding me? Killin’ it early! Peep more of their videos here.  Their ‘Knock You Down’ one was crazy and he does a lot of Drake covers from the So Far Gone mixtape so you already know I find that dope.

i hope they never find out
what they already know, know, know
as soon as its official
we’ll have to let it go, go, go
so we don’t confirm the fling
keep avoiding all the questions
you can teach me many things
i’m just scared to learn a lesson