I can’t sit here and mistake his infatuation with me for genuine interest.

Sure, he wants to fight every dude that even glances in my direction so much that I avoid being around him in public; but that’s not out of concern, he’s just possessive. And that’s all I am to him – a posession, a prize, a trophy. Something to show off to all his friends and give them that ‘look what I bagged’ look. He’s comparing me to his exes and to him having me is one helluva upgrade. He can’t keep his hands off me but that’s not interest, it’s lust. I can tell you his life story and I know things about him one shouldn’t even know this soon. You know why? Because I am sincerely trying to get to know him… so I ask.

Now go ahead and ask him anything about my parents, my siblings, my hobbies, my interests, my living situation and how I ended up in it. Betcha he’d be stumped. He doesn’t inquire to know anything about me because he just doesn’t give a fuck. Now ask him if he wants me to be his girl. The answer will inevitably be yes. He says “I want you to myself” as if that should bring me comfort. It doesn’t; you just want to own me. But my question is – since when does being conventionally pretty mean I have nothing more to offer than being the eye candy for you arm? I’m more than just a thing to look at, ya’know.

I understand that most people considered beautiful by society’s standards are typically self-absorbed assholes who aren’t working on their character. But some of us are! I am a person, with morals, ideas, opinions, and philosophies that are always changing and you should want to experience this growth with me. If you’re not intrigued by the person I was, the person I am, and the person I’m becoming – then you’re simply not interested in me. Don’t waste my time.

oh! I decided to get back into photography. it’s only a hobby that I do w/a simple point & shoot camera but who knows? it could grow into somethin’ bigger. afterall, i’m a lot better than these fools w/ slrs that their parents bought who take pics of nothing but themselves and food
peep my photography flickr here.

A woman with an ass and a strong mind
It’s been a long time
Sometimes you on your bullshit, sometimes I’m on mine
Will you have a hard time tryna stay commited?
or do you only want my voice moanin’ when you hit it?
Man…only God knows
You know deep in my heart, I don’t want you to be no star though
Cause groupies after every show
I’m scared you fuckin every hoe
And no need to lie and say you won’t cause’ shit, you never know!
But may the Lord give you strength
I love you more than anything
The future father of my kids; the love is real
And if we ever part; God forbid - I’ll love you still
So when you on the road, I won’t trip. You know I’m down for ya
I’ll keep it tight and won’t slip – I’ll hold it down for ya

I’ve dubbed J. Cole ‘s ‘The Warm Up’ The Best Mixtape of the Year
(yes, even better than Drizzys)
so do me a favor and peep it by downloading it here.