i’m not above new years resolutions, fuck you.

growth 3 Comments »

“The time has come,” the Walrus said “To talk of many things: Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax– Of cabbages–and kings.” … No seriously, the time has come for a New Year and growth. Not change; because change insinuates you can change back. You can never grow smaller though. And for the love of God, please feel free to save your trendy “you can make a resolution any day of the year” for the next blogger, Captain Obvious. I can’t hate on 2009 the way I was sticking my middle finger up at 2008 this time last year, because although my situation hasn’t gotten much better; this year has been full of self-discovery. I’ve learned so much about who I am, what I want and what’s important to me. I still have a long way to go, but I’ve come a long way too. I know what I like and dislike about myself and therefore, know what I’d like to work on. Most of my resolutions, I refuse to broadcast publicly, but here goes some of the basic ones…

Allow my creativity to flourish. As a kid, I had such a passion to explore and discover and create. I would have an idea or vision and act on it immediately. I was writing poetry, drawing, inventing and just sharpening my imagination daily. Then the internet and television took over my life and then I had more superficial shit to do on those rainy days, like spruce up my myspace or catch a Laguna Beach marathon than perfecting my artistry. Eventually that ingenuity and originality will fade completely so I have to catch it while I still have the chance.

Learn. I also used to be a complete bookworm. I was one of the few kids in the class thrilled to go to the library and devoured any literature I could get my hands on. I was like a sponge soaking up knowledge. But as you get older, that desire to see everything and know everything startes to vanish and before you know it, you’re so stuck in your beliefs that you’re unable to even consider others. And since being open-minded is my forte, I just can’t allow that to happen ;]

Be more sociable. So I stole this one? Sue me. Being such a fan of “social” media and NYnight life does not mean that I’m actually a sociable person. In fact, if the social setting is not a club or lounge in the city, you’ll probably find my face buried in my blackberry acting like a complete elitist because I’m a New Yorker…and soooooo above anything else :\ I don’t intentionally act this way, it just happens. I’d like to work on mastering the “art” of keeping in touch and keeping up on what’s going on with my friends and acquaintances.

Separate private life and public life. It never occurs to me that I’m being way too open on the internet until some stranger throws everything in my face like ‘omg that’s why you’re poor, your dopefiend parents don’t want you and you’re dying!’ I need to work on keeping the personal stuff personal and censoring myself. Not only am I giving people ammo for this ’shit to use against Alexis’ file in their brains, they’re perception of me is always way off. Clearly, I’m not on twitter when I’m having a superb time saying how much fun I’m having because, uh…maybe I’m enjoying life or something crazy like that. I rans when I’ve just received bad news or I need to vent. I guess this makes it seem like all I do is complain. But in reality, I appreciate every stupid little moment of my life a lot more than the average person. I find beauty in every taste, smell, or experience I encounter. People have even gone as far as to call me suicidal. Me?! Yes ME! The same chick who is terrified of death. As if I could ever end my life! I’m far too curious to even consider it.

Oh & no soda, slim down, take more pictures and and less drugs. Bye.

hellogoodbye

friendship, photos 3 Comments »

Au revoir, monsieur soleil. Farewell! So long, bye-bye. Sayonara!

why can’t I draw hands?!

art 11 Comments »

I’ve always had an issue when it comes to drawing hands and it’s becoming such a burden. It’s just so difficult to capture the true essence of a hand so I always just start giving up when I get to them. And then I end up wanting to rip the entire sketch up because it feels incomplete. Then again an artist never really finishes his work; he merely abandons it.

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