He told me about girls and how they’re all the same.
They’re all gold diggers and love to play games.
They toy with his mind. Want money and not time.
He then went on to tell me how good girls are hard to find.
And he’s so sick of falling for what a girl pretends to be
‘I wish they’d be less of a bitch and more of a friend to me’
I sat back and listened hoping that he’d have an epiphany
And see the girl he was lookin for was right here within me
He’ll realize I was here the entire time waiting patiently
He’ll say ‘wow love was in my face all along waiting for me’
And finally we could live happily ever after together
Sure it hasn’t happened yet but I’ll hold onto this fantasy forever
Or maybe things could take a turn for the worst
And I could end up with the dude that realized it first

© Alexis Belon

I can’t sit here and mistake his infatuation with me for genuine interest.

Sure, he wants to fight every dude that even glances in my direction so much that I avoid being around him in public; but that’s not out of concern, he’s just possessive. And that’s all I am to him – a posession, a prize, a trophy. Something to show off to all his friends and give them that ‘look what I bagged’ look. He’s comparing me to his exes and to him having me is one helluva upgrade. He can’t keep his hands off me but that’s not interest, it’s lust. I can tell you his life story and I know things about him one shouldn’t even know this soon. You know why? Because I am sincerely trying to get to know him… so I ask.

Now go ahead and ask him anything about my parents, my siblings, my hobbies, my interests, my living situation and how I ended up in it. Betcha he’d be stumped. He doesn’t inquire to know anything about me because he just doesn’t give a fuck. Now ask him if he wants me to be his girl. The answer will inevitably be yes. He says “I want you to myself” as if that should bring me comfort. It doesn’t; you just want to own me. But my question is – since when does being conventionally pretty mean I have nothing more to offer than being the eye candy for you arm? I’m more than just a thing to look at, ya’know.

I understand that most people considered beautiful by society’s standards are typically self-absorbed assholes who aren’t working on their character. But some of us are! I am a person, with morals, ideas, opinions, and philosophies that are always changing and you should want to experience this growth with me. If you’re not intrigued by the person I was, the person I am, and the person I’m becoming – then you’re simply not interested in me. Don’t waste my time.

oh! I decided to get back into photography. it’s only a hobby that I do w/a simple point & shoot camera but who knows? it could grow into somethin’ bigger. afterall, i’m a lot better than these fools w/ slrs that their parents bought who take pics of nothing but themselves and food
peep my photography flickr here.