The Chronicles of Alexis & Bretony

events 8 Comments »

An anonymous little birdie once left a comment on Bretony’s blog when she first made her move to the Big Apple ‘doesn’t alexis belon live in jersey?? you 2 should join forces!!’. Well anonymous little birdie, you should be happy to find out we have, and we’re officially planning our world take over. Starting with New York City. Muhahahaha…

Bretony’s Twitter
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Bretony’s Blog

wardrobe malfunction

photos 14 Comments »

A lot of people saying fuck me. Problem is they be telling everybody BUT me…


(yikes; nipple slip :XXX)


(I tend to pretend my Dell is Mac because I want one so badly)

open relationships

growth, love 18 Comments »
Last night I ran into a friend who happened to be with a girl who was was not the longtime girlfiend I know him to have. They flirted and eventually left together.  I hit Ashley up this morning to give her the lastest gossip and we got to talkin about how we were both so certain he was in love with his girlfriend and maybe, just maybe, men really can’t control theirselves. Do men, even when their head over heels in love, always eventually desire ‘new pussy’? Not neccessarily BETTER pussy…just somethin’ new? In the same matter that no matter how much you may love it, you’d get tired of eating chicken every night for the rest of your life so you crave beef every now and again. And is the acceptance of such behavior, stupid or smart?
Ashley told me that there’s a rumor floating around that Will & Jada sleep with other people but ask eachother first and refuse to pretend that it’s not natural to want other people. They won’t forsake all others, but the other would always know first. (Idk if this rumor is true so don’t quote me.) I used to think girls who stayed with their cheating boyfriends were retarded but perhaps they’ve got it all figured out. It’s no secret that it’s in a man’s nature to spread his seed but should we accept it just because it’s their basic instinct? And as a woman, I know first hand that the initial pain we feel when we’re cheated on isn’t because he merely had sex with someone else, it’s the being left in the dark and feeling betrayed. We fear that along with sex, he was also giving himself to someone emotionally. In fact, I’m not sure that the ’sex’ aspect of cheating hurts us at all. So wouldn’t having an open relationship be the easy solution to all of this? Maybe by being honest and open about things like that, relationships can survive.
But after a few hours of arguing with myself about the subject I’ve decided; fuck that! I’ve never seen my father, uncles, brothers or any other man be faithful and I could easily learn from experience and say that expecting any man to be true is unrealistic. But why?! Because it’s in their nature? If we all did what was natural to us, we’d be off in caves somewhere mumbling to eachother. We learn to control most of our basic instincts at a very young age once we realize there are consequences and infidelity shouldn’t be any different. People aren’t going around killing every mickey fickey that pisses us off like we used to because somewhere down the line, we learned we’d get in trouble. We shouldn’t be sitting there grateful that a man was atleast honest with us about being with other woman because let’s face it, his honesty stems from a lack of giving a remote fuck. Why not just tell the truth when you know the girl aint going anywhere regardless? We as women need to collectively snap out of this bullshit and stop tolerating less than what we deserve, lowering our standards with every wrong thing he does.

Last night I ran into a friend who happened to be with a girl who was was not the long time girlfiend I know him to have. They flirted and eventually left together.  I hit Ashley up this morning to give her the lastest gossip and we got to talkin about how we were both so certain he was in love with his girlfriend and maybe, just maybe, men really can’t control theirselves. Do men, even when they’re head over heels in love, always eventually desire ‘new pussy’? Not neccessarily BETTER pussy…just somethin’ new? In the same manner that no matter how much you may love it, you’d get tired of eating chicken every night for the rest of your life so you crave beef every now and again. And is the acceptance of such behavior, stupid or smart?

Ashley went on to tell me that there’s a rumor floating around that Will & Jada sleep with other people but ask eachother first and refuse to pretend that it’s not natural to want other people. They won’t forsake all others, but the other would always know first.  I used to think girls who stayed with their cheating boyfriends were retarded but perhaps they’ve got it all figured out. It’s no secret that it’s in a man’s nature to spread his seed but should we accept it just because it’s their basic instinct? And as a woman, I know first hand that the initial pain we feel when we’re cheated on isn’t because he merely had sex with someone else, it’s the being left in the dark and feeling betrayed part that hurts the worst. We fear that along with sex, he was also giving himself to someone emotionally. In fact, I’m not sure that the ’sex’ aspect of cheating hurts us at all. So wouldn’t having an open relationship be the easy solution to all of this? Maybe, by being honest and open about things like that, relationships can survive.

But after a few hours of arguing with myself about the subject I’ve decided; fuck that! I’ve never seen my father, uncles, brothers or any other man be faithful and I could easily learn from experience and say that expecting any man to be true is unrealistic. But why?! Because it’s in their nature? If we all did what was natural to us, we’d be off in caves somewhere mumbling to eachother. We learn to control most of our basic instincts at a very young age once we realize there are consequences and infidelity shouldn’t be any different. People aren’t going around killing every mickey fickey that pisses us off like we used to because somewhere down the line, we learned we’d get in trouble. It utterly and completely disgusts me that I was ever grateful that a man was ‘atleast honest with me’ about being with other woman. Let’s face it, his honesty stems from a lack of giving a remote fuck. Why not just tell the truth when you know the girl aint going anywhere regardless? We as women need to collectively snap out of this bullshit and stop tolerating less than what we deserve, lowering our standards with every wrong thing he does.

Men are treating us this way because women allow it. Yeah I said it.

paris michael katherine jackson

growth 4 Comments »

Honestly, this was the greatest memorial of all time for the greatest entertainer of all time but I was keeping my eye on the kids throughout the entire ceremony. I noticed how Paris seemed to be the most overtly hurt, the one child who understood the magnitude of who her father was and his mark on history. It takes a daddy’s girl to know one and I could tell how much she loved him by how intuned to the entire ceremoney she was. However, I didn’t expect 11 yr old Paris Michael Katherine Jackson to hit the stage at the end and I sure couldn’t foresee that this 30 second speech would tug at my heart that hard. If you weren’t already crying throughout the entire ceremony, you were then. Nothing in that 2 hour funeral touched me as much as that little girl speaking. I immediately texted my father with her words but then I started thinking about how lucky I am to have the opportunity to tell the man who raised me I appreciate him. So I called him to tell him “Ever since I was born…you’ve been the best daddy I could ever imagine” which proved to be harder than I expected because I ended up breaking down and crying. But I’m glad I did. And I hope you all realize, the greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they’re alive.

amber rose

where are you lexxxii?? 4 Comments »

So, on this edition of ‘Where Are You Lexxxii??‘, I introduce you to my girl crush and current obsession, Amber Rose. I really tried to avoid featuring Ms. Rose because it’s just corny to put Kanye’s girl on a segment I stole from his blog, but I really can’t help myself. Everytime I see a picture of her, my jaw drops. Normally when I say I have a girl crush on somebody, it merely means I think they’re sexy but this girl right here could actually bag me. There’s just somethin’ about her ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude. Not to mention she’s mulatto and half of that mix is Italian – just like moi ;]

“I like eatin’ pussy too.” – Amber Rose

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