As you all know, I’m a huge Drake fan but Michael Jackson is my idol, so when I heard there was a clip of Drizzy as Michael Jackson from his Degrassi days floating around the internet, I immediately searched for it. Man – as talented of an artist I think Drake is, my days of wanting to get with him are long gone. Besides the fact that he has reached this level of hip hop superstardom without having to pay his dues, his swag is non-existant in this video. Corny! SMH. He did not do MJ justice and I could’ve pulled off better Michael moves than that.
Tribute Video for my biggest inspiration, an Icon; The King of Pop – Michael Jackson.
It’s official – my childhood is over. And it took the death of an icon for me to realize this. The man who was embedded in so many of my childhood memories passed away this Thursday and took a piece of my soul with him. My memories span from Pop (RIP) giving me and my brother, Mario a good spanking at 3 years old when we tried to emulate the dance from ‘The way you make me feel’ and he thought we were “being fresh” humping the floor all the way to practicing the dance to ‘Rock My World’ at 15 years old with my best friend NahTesha at the peak of our friendship. His death hit closer to home than I ever imagined a celebrity death could.
I know it might seem like I’m exaggerating but I know what it’s like to have people all over the world relate to you and see greatness in you and still not have a soul on earth to turn to. I too, deal with issues of self-worth and I know first hand what it means to be consumed with loneliness. I experience what it’s like to suffer from Peter Pan syndrome because you grew up too fast and to find refuge in the innocence of kids because the law of love could be best understood and learned through little children. I too believe that love can heal the world. And of course, I’m misunderstood and I truly believe I can relate to Michael in a way a lot of people can’t. It breaks my heart knowing I’ll never have the opportunity to meet him to let him know what an impact he’s had on my life like I’ve always planned to.
The mainstream media makes me want to vomit focusing on the not-so-great aspects of his life instead of acknowledging and praising all the contributions he made to the entire world. This man single-handedly bridged race, genre and age gaps while also redefining the art of entertainment. He was bringing black and white together before both Barack Obama and Oprah and it’s my belief that neither of them would be where they are if he hadn’t already changed the worlds perception of black people by acting so royally and genuine. Do ya’ll understand dance, music, performances and music videos would not be where it’s at now if it weren’t for him being the innovator? He upped the ante and created the style of dance that can be found in all your favorite artist performances today. He’s the one celebrity in the world that my grandmother, my father and myself will mourn together. And lastly but not least, not only did he use his music as a tool to raise awareness about all the world issues that concerned him – he really put his money where his mouth was and donated millions.
How heart wrenching is it that someone with such great intentions who lead a completely selfless life, giving up all the things we take for granted just to entertain us ended so tragically? A deprived childhood, a society that bullied him, allegations that ruined his reputation, and a level of fame that suffocates you because coping with worldwide fame makes you become reclusive, lonely, cautious and pressured. Then death at a fairly young age? Damn, I just can’t accept that I’m never going to be able to see him live in concert. It was one of those things I just knew I’d do before I died and it breaks my heart that my dreams are shattered. And quite frankly, I’m sad that my children will grow up in a post-michael era and he’ll just be a legend to them… so unborn children – I want you to know – for the first 22 years of my life, I witnessed GREATNESS in it’s purest form. I love you Michael.
Oh what an honor it used to be; to be the one female you’d call upon during your most trying times to comfort you. I used to feel so special rubbing your head as you confessed your deepest pains and fears. But as fun as being the girl who sits on the sidelines of all your daily rituals, like playin ball at the courts, streetfighter tournaments, and high freestyle sessions may be, it also has quite a few drawbacks. Sure I may get to be myself, just ‘one of the guys”, but what incentive do you have to romance me, to be as intrigued by me as you are by that girl you’re “still not over” or are currently chasing after when you know that I enjoy your company enough to accept just goofin’ off around the crib just as long as we’re together? So sick of discovering after I give you my all that you’re just not ready, still have baggage you’re dealing with or just aren’t looking to settle down. And frankly, hearing that you ‘value my friendship too much to ever risk fucking it up’ is a crock of shit. Because if the right person came along, anyone would be willing to settle down. Let’s face it, its not that you don’t wanna be with anyone, its that you don’t want to be with me.
“All girls ever want is for guys to spend money on em, they don’t know what they want, they all like mind games – blah fucking blah” You continued talking like that in the car yesterday as if I’m not even a female. How painful it was hearing you whine about how its so hard to find intelligent, genuine, sweet, REAL girls these days when I really wanted to scream ”I’m right here!” You sat there and listed all the characteristics you wish you could find in a girl completely oblivious to the fact that the girl you were desribing was sitting directly across from you praying a light bulb would go off and you’d realize it. And then it hit me. Our closeness has reached such a level of comfort that I’m pretty sure I’ve been placed in the comfy friend zone for good. Another one bites the dust. How does this always happen with the dudes that I really like?! Always the best friend and nothing more.
They say you can’t turn a bad girl good…
But once a good girls gone bad, she’s gone forever.
You’ll mourn forever. Shit, you gotta live with the fact you did me wrong forever.
A woman with an ass and a strong mind
It’s been a long time
Sometimes you on your bullshit, sometimes I’m on mine
Will you have a hard time tryna stay commited?
or do you only want my voice moanin’ when you hit it?
Man…only God knows
You know deep in my heart, I don’t want you to be no star though
Cause groupies after every show
I’m scared you fuckin every hoe
And no need to lie and say you won’t cause’ shit, you never know!
But may the Lord give you strength
I love you more than anything
The future father of my kids; the love is real
And if we ever part; God forbid - I’ll love you still
So when you on the road, I won’t trip. You know I’m down for ya
I’ll keep it tight and won’t slip – I’ll hold it down for ya
I’ve dubbed J. Cole ’s ‘The Warm Up’ The Best Mixtape of the Year
(yes, even better than Drizzys)
so do me a favor and peep it by downloading it here.
Since I steal internet from my neighbors, I unfortunately don’t have a strong enough connection to catch Joe Budden’s live stream so you can imagine my surprise when a friend emailed me this video of him on blogtv mentioning me. Awww ;] I don’t appreciate him referring to me as a bitch but I’m his “favorite fuckin’ person in the world to follow” on twitter – which is why all of you should too ! – http://twitter.com/alexisbelon – Having my favorite rapper in the world be familiar with who I am is truly dope and what’s even better, I credit all my internet fame to him. Because half of you wouldn’t know who I am if I hadn’t made a video about his ass. ILU mouse <3
When she needed you the most you came running to her rescue
Found her layin on the floor vulnerable, insecure and lost
Looked down and said ‘don’t worry little one, I’ll protect you’
And a once warm and welcoming heart quickly turned to frost
She built you up in hopes that someone would knock you down
And every other brick was a reminder of the pain
But the person she hoped would come along has not been found
So she only hopes she didn’t do it all in vain.
You kick her when she opens up and encourage her with every man she rejects
So she tries to push you away and let you know how much she hates you
For allowing you to grow so strong that it fills her soul with regrets
And now although she wants to, she can’t seem to escape you
You keep her sheltered because you know the ways love could harm her
But being consumed with lonelieness also makes her suffer
She’s confined in solitude so what good is all the armor
If all it does is prevent anyone from ever being able to love her?
‘Little Bit’ by Drake & Lykke Li happens to be one of my favorite songs of all time – it just has that way of hitting the soul and the lyrics are just too…just too relatable. So to come across this seriously made my day. Their cover is amazziiinngg. And who cares that they re-did a remix?! It really makes me happy to see people still out there doing it solely for the love of music. And on a flippin’ ukulele? Are you kidding me? Killin’ it early! Peep more of their videos here. Their ‘Knock You Down’ one was crazy and he does a lot of Drake covers from the So Far Gone mixtape so you already know I find that dope.
i hope they never find out
what they already know, know, know
as soon as its official
we’ll have to let it go, go, go
so we don’t confirm the fling
keep avoiding all the questions
you can teach me many things
i’m just scared to learn a lesson
Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They don’t ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like ‘Maybe we should just be friends’ or ‘How very perceptive’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
Not sure how the entry w/ this video got deleted but it did so I’m putting it back up. Check me out singing-a-long and shit. This is just the product of me being silly and wanting to mess with some video effects. Sit back & take notes on how to have a sexy video on youtube without getting half naked. Self-respect FTW!
And just for kicks; here’s another video I uploaded recently that always makes me smile. Lil bro is a man now :] I’m so proud of him. A lot of people think I should hold a grudge against him for what he did, but fuck alla that – family first. I don’t get bitter, I just get better. And for the record, I don’t hate Maryland anymore. The DMV has a special spot in my heart.
Fuck it – here goes another video I uploaded recently of my dude spittin’ a verse. (Click here). This was my first time EVER hearing him spit anything & to be honest, I thought he was gon’ be wack like the rest of these wanna-be rappers so you can imagine how surprised I was to hear so much talent spewing from his lips. What do you all think? Comment the vid & let me know.
PS – I refuse to vlog until each one of these vids gets 1000 views so make it happen!
+ It boggles my mind that so many people swear by my words. Wtfeezy for? Majority of my time is spent arguing with myself. The rest of it is spent thinking about food, art and music. I constantly contradict myself and I am probably the most conflicted soul you’ll ever come accross. Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known. [[Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.]]
+ The kids on that new MTV show ‘Taking the Stage’ are incredibly talented and this is one reality show that actually deserves to be on a channel for Music Television. I sit there in ‘awwwee’ at the music and choreography these teenagers compose. There hasn’t been a song Mia has written that I haven’t absolutely loved yet. That chick is a musical prodigy. Damn, I wish I had the privelege to attend a highschool that polished my crafts instead of telling me the things I was most passionate about were unrealistic.
+ The only difference between ‘love’ and ‘in love’ is ‘love’ is a verb/noun…it’s something you do or feel. ‘In love’ is an adjective to desribe the state of being when you love someone. I hate when someone says ‘I love you, but I’m not in love with you.’ STFU! That makes no sense! Why are you trying to make love more confusing than it already is?
+ Why the fuck is ‘Marley and Me’ such a sad fuckin movie? It’s just like ‘Click’, you expect it to a funny movie and then it turns out to be a tear jerker. No beuno.
+ Cassie’s breasts should’ve made me a lot happier yesterday morning than they actually did. Mines are better. Her face is drop dead gorgeous but I stopped obsessing over skinny girls years ago. I am, however, really inspired to get my nipples pierced now.
+ Rihannas nudes for the motherfuckin win ! Cassie who? I have totally been turned heteroflexible for RiRi.
+ Eminem’s album leaked so me and Shady are gonna sit back with some marijuana and do some bonding…just like the good old days. This is gonna be a bittersweet moment since the only albums I was looking forward to this year was Joe Buddens, Asher Roth, Keri Hilsons, The Dream, Jadakiss, Drakes mixtape and Eminems album. Now I have nothing to look forward to.
+ My birthday is May 13th. I can not fuckin believe I’m going to be 22. I feel like crying everytime I think about it.
+ And lastly but not least, what are the girls in Panama eating? I need to be put on their diet.
A day in the life of your not so ordinary average jane... by the name of alexis... with a capital A though, which makes it Alexis. +1 for grammar. I'm 21, I live in NJ and I used to do drugs. Well I still do. But I used to, too. In a nutshell, my life is a series of unfortunate events, Lemony Snickett don't have shit on me. My weaknesses include emotionally unavailable men, stoner movies, cupcakes, and doing hoodrat stuff with my friends. Want to know more? Click here
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J. Cole | The Warm Up best mixtape of 09
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Don't put me in a list this Follow Friday - tell your followers why you think exactly they should follow me. I'd like to know also... 15 mins ago
Its so cute how MJ idolized James Brown. Imagining someone that huge having an idol tickles me. 21 mins ago
Everytime a Maryland friend adds me to facebook, I peep out mutual friend and its always @samanthamarie. She knows everybody! 28 mins ago
So basically Souljah Boy was crying and threatening to quit rap on twitter? Thank you lawd. 30 mins ago
Your life is lacking if you haven't seen Moonwalker. 34 mins ago
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