I can’t help but laugh when someone accuses me of tweeting for attention. Aren’t we all? Let’s face it, it’s narcissistic even having a twitter. Same goes for having a facebook and blog… and let’s not even touch on the fact that I’m blogging about twitter. Anyone who is so vain to believe that complete strangers would care to know their daily incessant thoughts and want constant updates about who they are, what they are, and where they are is seeking attention. And that’s anyone with a twitter. Which is pretty much everyone. It’s no secret that I’m a big fan of the little birdie… In fact, I met my boyfriend, who I currently live with because he recognized me on from the site when I was crossing the street one day. Though, I’m quite the shock jock (not just on social networking sites, but in general) and say things just to get a rise out of people or provoke thought, I haven’t gotten so caught up in it to the point that it effects my life or makes me behave in ways I wouldn’t otherwise… or have I?

Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “wait…am I really twitpic’ing a complete stranger just to make fun of something they’re wearing or doing for a few ‘lol’s from a bunch of folks I don’t even know? ” before I stop myself. Sometimes I’ll be smiling in someones face whilst typing how annoying they are on my handy dandy blackberry. Sometimes I’d rather @reply a friend than text or call them. Sometimes I’ll make bold generalizations just to piss people off, like ‘everyone in DC is ugly.’. Sometimes I’ll make people feel subordinate and inadequate by declaring things like, ‘if you listen to Waka, you know nothing about music’ or ‘Lmfao at any female who still wears babyphat’. And most of the people I’m following do the same things. Do you know how draining it is to spew such negative energy out all day long while constantly being fed the same amount of negativity? Subsconsciously, it has to take a toll on your everyday life because negativity begets negativity.

Worst of all, I’m too busy documenting my life to actually enjoy it. This habitual desire to share my thoughts with the world interupts every-fucking-thing. I’ll tune out the rest of a song because I’m trying to type a lyric from it that stood out to me. I’ll miss essential parts of movies because I was trying to quote something from it that I found funny or relatable. So busy trying to capture the sunset for a twitpic that I’ve lost the moment. It’s like the photographer who spends their entire time at any event taking pictures and they forget to have a good time. We’re so caught up observing the moment that we’re not actually in it.

Twitter in itself isn’t the problem, it’s just that anything to an extreme is unhealthy. Weed. Food. Even religion. So if you’ve been wondering why my tweets aren’t as rude (and yet hilarious) as they used to be, it’s because that’s bad juju… and I don’t need it in my life. If you’re wondering why I’m more vague about what I’m actually doing or what’s going on in my life, it’s because people assume they know everything about you from a rant on a public timeline. And if you’re wondering why I’m updating less frequently than I used to, well it’s because I don’t want to let life pass me by because I’m tweeting about it.

I’m not sure if I was just THAT hideous of a child or what, but my parents just refused to take any baby pictures of me. I’m certain that they were just caught up in their own lives and didn’t think ahead to the fact that I might actually grow up one day and would like to know what I looked like when I was a kid. I’ve completely lost all hope of finding out what I looked like as an infant. Was I bald? Full of hair? Fat? Thin? Your guess is as good as mine! When I was eight, I noticed that I didn’t have many pictures and developed a camera fetish. I purchased my first crayola camera (see it around my neck) and even did a science project on how cameras work where I had to build my own. I know all the wanna-be photographers my age are into glamour and high fashion, but personally, I love shooting kids and intimate moments, as you can tell from my flickr. I just love capturing special moments and time periods for people since I never had any to look back on. Anyway, you can just imagine my excitement when a distant relative from The Family Reuinion added me on facebook and tagged me in this picture! I think it’s adorable because the expression on my face is so true to the person I turned out to be; ‘back up!’. I suppose I was just confused as to what was going on since I wasn’t familiar with taking pictures. Nothing like kids these days because my baby cousins always turn a simple snapshot into a full blown photoshoot.

I’ve been procrastinating on even attempting any of the things on my list of things I want to start cultivating, especially learning to cook. However, as me and my boyfriend discussed how we both feel like we’re slowly commiting suicide with all this fast food and gas station junk while eating Wendy’s earlier, I knew it was time to take control of my health. The greasiness had us leaning over our tables declaring we had the ‘itis’ and couldn’t possibly walk any further. I mean, have you ever seen someone leave a fast food joint looking happy, perky, or energetic? No. Everyone looks drained, lazy, and sad. Now, I doubt I’ll ever be some health freak because let’s be realistic; I love food. It’s delicious. But I’m vowing to refrain from eating out and to stop being so terrified of a damn spatula. Not just to be thin, but for the sake of my arteries. And to be thin, too.

At first, when Shon looked at me for dinner, I used every excuse I could come up with to prolong the process. But maybe this was the incentive I needed to get me started on perfecting my skills as the world’s top chef, and get me to eating at home. Plus, it’d save us money and a tighter budget is essential now that I’m more than likely moving in. I’m no Samantha from Sam Vs. Food but I’ve got to admit, I was more than proud that I was able to pull off an entire meal without a fire truck ending up at the apartment. It was a simple collation that only consisted of italian style chicken breasts, creamy corn and baked potatoes but hopefully this will motivate me to try more complex meals. I’m excited.

…and a special shout out to Shon for not only being the first dude to send me a dozen roses just because but being the first person to ever send me flowers, period. Ily.

In an attempt to give you guys a more personal glance at my daily life, I decided to start a ‘day in the life of’ series segment on my youtube. Calling it ‘The Life & Times of” seemed too typical, and though ‘Infinity and Belon’ is a pretty cheesy title for the series, I can’t help being a cornball! I figured my Family Reunion this past weekend was the perfect opportunity to whip out my flip camera and start. The reunion was great. We spent it at the National Harbor during a car show weekend and stayed at this hotel called the Gaylord. I was a bit iffy about the name…but for a place that’s just getting started, it’s the most beautiful hotel I’ve ever been in. Inside, it looks like you’re outside walking down a strip of restaurants and clubs with what looks like buildings of fancy apartments but in reality they’re just hotel roooms. It’s crazy.  Seeing my family was refreshing, even through all the awkward ‘Do you remember me? I knew you when you were ye’high’s but the REAL reunion went down with my brothers and cousins. As often as I get to see all of them, it’s difficult and rare that we all get together at the same time. If I’m ever so blessed to have a man that can make me feel as comfortable as I do around my brothers, I’m cuffin that! Enjoy the videos + pictures.

There’s a million and one more pics after the jump. Click ‘read more’ to see.

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Three months of mental and emotional misery due to my most recent ordeal with love and I somehow made it out of the heartache alive when I was certain that I was going to die. The anguish still randomly sneaks up on me at times; grief being a fleeting emotion, but it eventually goes away and I’m ok again. We even managed to end amicably, which is a huge relief since the most terrifying part of pursuing a relationship with such a good friend was risking losing that closeness. When you make it out of a battle as horrific and painful as a heartbreak, it’s only natural that people who are going through the same thing look to you for answers on how to get over it. Truthfully, it scares the shit out of me when people seek advice about relationships from such a non-expert such as myself. I’m clueless! Even my blog entries on relationships are full of self-doubt, ‘maybe’s, ‘perhaps’ and me just being inquisitive about this thing we call love. I’m learning with you all, trying to figure it all out just as you are. So here’s what I gathered from my situation…

Love yourself first. Yes, I know…that sounds like the most cliche crock of bullshit ever. I let the same advice fly over my head for years because as confident as I was, I was positive I loved myself enough and couldn’t possibly need to work on that. However, if I really loved myself, I wouldn’t feel the need to prove that I was worth someone just because they weren’t that into me. Instead, I’d laugh it off, write them off as silly, and maybe even feel a bit of sadness over their loss. Why is it important to have a great relationship with yourself first? If you’re thinking you’re not good enough, then when someone isn’t interested, it’s easy to think ‘ok, well I can see why he doesn’t like me because I don’t like me either’. You’ll end up accepting whatever he does decide to give you instead of what you actually deserve.

We’re starting relationships during our most influential years and it’s preventing us from getting to know who we’d be if our morals, ideas, and opinions weren’t based off of those next to us. So don’t be afraid to be single, get to know yourself and build a better relationship with you. Like a wise friend told me, being alone sometimes gives you space to grow. Sometimes it’s hard to grow when you’re too close to someone. Remember that trees are planted far from eachother so they can spread they branches and mature.

Oh and meet the culprit of this pain and growth, who still remains one of my best friends in the entire world, in the video under the cut. He’s going to be huge one day. I also make a short cameo at the end so watch!

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